The Inner Quest

If one’s inner world is a reflection of one’s outer world and vice versa, it’s no surprise that my outer world is becoming more organized as a result of my inner quest

Applying systems thinking is living, breathing, thinking, acting consciously. It’s essentially creating structure and alignment starting with the inner individual (within me), followed by outer individual (through my behavior), inner group, and outer group.

Elijah had mentioned that this would be a complete transformation and even advised that I seek out an energy healer close to home. I didn’t realize just how quickly this transformation would begin…as this was only Week 2.

Having left for college over six years ago, this is the first time since then that I’ve returned home for more than a couple of weeks. As I reluctantly settled back into Chicago, my mind agonized over who I think I am vs. who my parents think I am. 

It was this thought coupled with my first assigned reading, Elementary Systematics by J.G. Bennette, that presented the first set of challenges and an opportunity to heal.

Bennette uses the triad of husband-wife-children to illustrate the six universal triads. I started thinking of how the triads demonstrated my family’s experiences. 

Naturally, painful memories resurfaced…
  1. I often mediated my parents’ differences and felt responsible for making their marriage work (1-3-2).
  2. For much of my childhood, I felt I could only relate to my dad through my mom (3-2-1).
  3. My mom frequently conveyed our family’s needs to my dad through me (2-3-1).

Awareness leads to healing. Now that I am aware of the six triads, I can choose how I participate in the triad of dad-mom-me instead of always acting or fully investing myself in every exchange. If I consciously choose my role(s), I can better align my outer individual (behavior) with my inner individual, and thereby expand my ability to access the experience of “flow”.

-S

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