Divination Reading (1): What Stands in Your Way?

A little over three months ago, Elijah spent an afternoon facilitating my Divination Reading and creating my Life Map. This was my first one-on-one interaction with him.

He started by asking me to write out 9 wants.

“But I don’t know what I want. In fact, I feel guilty for wanting anything,” I replied. 

And then he asked, “Why? What stands in your way?” Immediately, my mind traveled back to Kabul, Afghanistan…

There isn’t a day that passes when I don’t think about the people of Afghanistan. I still find myself asking…

“When will it end?” 

“Why must it continue to go on in this way?” 

Who will come to their aid?”

“What will get the world to wake up?”

They’ve been misfortunate, destitute, powerless, and victimized for so long.

And yet, the day that I arrived at the guest house in Kabul, I – an American volunteer – was received with open arms. 

Khala was cleaning the window sills and humming softly when I paused by the door to peek into the room. Sunlight poured in from all four windows. Sensing my presence, Khala turned around. Realizing I was the one she was waiting for, she smiled and quickly came to help me carry my things into the room.

Then she took me into her arms and looked deeply into my eyes. She whispered, “Tashakor,” and her almond-shaped eyes shed the tears they could no longer hold.

Why was she saying “Thank You?” 

I hadn’t even started my work at the hospital yet. I had just merely showed up. Her dark eyes revealed the truth of my role in that world; I was a sign – a foretelling of changing times. Seeing myself through her eyes, I felt entrusted with much more than I can ever fully describe in words.

That night, I prayed for guidance and fortitude and ultimately, the success of the project. For the first time, I prayed so deeply for something that would benefit someone else and in this case, it would benefit hundreds, thousands of people that I will never meet. 

In the midst of that realization, my dad’s words echoed from my memory, “Everyone lives for themselves. Learn to live for others. Only then will you find true happiness.” 

Talking this through with Elijah helped me learn that I can only give of myself when I have something to give. I too am a child of the Universe. I need to acknowledge my own needs and relearn how to ask for what I want. 

The humility to ask and receive precedes the ability to give and multiply.

-S

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