Siblings But Strangers – Part 3 – Sabrina Lakhani

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Do you feel that your parents deserve a better par

Do you feel that your parents deserve a better partner, a better marriage, and a better life…?

I used to feel this way because I was insecurely attached.

I realized that my parents always have a choice even if they think/believe/say that they don’t. 🤯

💔 It’s ok to feel hurt and sad for them - you probably feel that because boundaries between them and you were blurred when you were young.

🔎 Direct your concern and compassion inwards and tell yourself you’re ok, you’re not responsible for the lives they’ve created, and that you will be just fine.

#goodmarriage #betterlife #goodpartner #goodlife #healthychoice #relationships #securelyattached #browngirltherapy #intergenerationaltrauma #attachmentstyles #insecurelyattached #peoplepleasing #parentified #parentpleasing #grateful #breakthosepatterns #cyclebreaker #childhoodtrauma #healingfromwithin #familyrelationships #healthyboundaries #parentchildrelationship #Ismaili #consciousparenting #consciouscommunity #familyrelationships #consciousparenting #changethepattern #anxietyhealing #authenticliving

Children are meant to be seen, heard, validated, a

Children are meant to be seen, heard, validated, and loved for who they are, not what they can provide for their parents.

They bring with them the seed of transformation for their parents.

#instakids #children #parents #transformation #loved #loveyou #parent #consciousparenting #selftransformation #familyrelationships #consciousparenting #changethepattern #consciouscommunity #ismailicommunity #children #kiddos #parents #seed #transformation #loved

If your children are dating at a really early age,

If your children are dating at a really early age, it’s because they have unmet needs.

❤️‍🩹 They are not at fault. They’re completely innocent and trying to meet their own needs.

💔 For a child, there is nothing worse than having a parent who loves them, but doesn’t understand them.

💔💔 It doesn’t matter if you say “I understand” to your child; it’s about how you model understanding.

#consciousparenting #changethepattern #breakthecycle #anxietytips #anxietytools #anxietyhacks #anxietyremedies #healanxiety #anxietyrelieftips #anxietyhealer #healinganxiety #healthyrelationship #marriageadvice #relationshiptips #unmetneeds #unmetneed #havekids #childhoodtrauma #children #parent #parents #childhood #ismaili #southasian #datingearly #intimaterelationships #reparenting #buildingtrust #consciousparents #compassionateparenting

Shortly after my divorce in 2016, I signed up for

Shortly after my divorce in 2016, I signed up for Professor Virani’s 2-week tour of Iran. With a bleeding heart and an estranged relationship with my parents, I left for Iran without informing them.

I was received by Professor Virani with warmth and compassion. For the 2nd week, it was just two of us. We laughed, cried, and prayed together. At the time, my parents couldn’t come through for me, but I felt so deeply loved and supported by the community in which I was raised.

Many years later, Professor Virani housed me until I found a place to live and became my NYC Mother.

Now, 6 years later, my parents joined me on another trip with Professor Virani & 32 other Ismailis to Egypt.

I wasn’t the only one on the trip who had a non-biological mother/father i.e. a member of the Ismaili community who came through like a parent would. Many of us referenced this unique bond by saying: just as Sabrina has her NYC Mother, so-and-so is my non-biological mother/father.

In reflecting on these stories, I’ve concluded that the 2 greatest gifts parents can give their children are:

1. The conviction that they are loved and supported and
2. Access to a strong, supportive community

Since no parents are perfect, they will fall short and fail to meet their child’s need at some point. If the child is engaged with the community, they can receive what they need. As a result, they learn to navigate difficulties with their self-worth intact.

Perhaps, this is the reason the Prophet said he’s leaving behind two weighty matters:

1. The Book of Allah (Quran) and
2. His kindred, the people of his house (Ahl al-Bayt)

From my perspective, the first encapsulates the central message that we are loved and supported no matter what and the second offers access to a strong, supportive community (for all the moments in which we forget the central message). Like DNA strands, the two are interwoven and inextricable from each other.

#securelyattached #ismaili #egypt #fatimidcairo #agakhandevelopmentnetwork #alhazarpark #cairoegypt #muslimhistory #fatimidarchitecture #authenticrelationships #consciousparenting #newyearreflections #ittakesavillage #ghadirkhum #prophetmuhammad

This might be a taboo topic in your family… Bu

This might be a taboo topic in your family…

But let’s face it, it’s really hard to grow up with so many expectations placed on us.

Starting with expectations for grades, certain classes, attending particular schools - life essentially becomes a race where children are constantly seeking their parents’ approval.

And when the carrot stick is perpetually dangling in the air, you learn to base your self worthon your performance, achievements, & accolades.

You inevitably create a life that is outward-facing, rather than internally satisfying.

And you may even get to the point where you realize there’s no end to this and that your parents set you up for this life - all so that they can see that you’ve made it.

But you’re not happy. And you can’t fake it forever. It’s exhausting pretending to be what your parents expect you to be.

Fortunately, you can shift that pattern and let it go, with the right support. Check out the website in my bio for more information on Patterns to Presence.

#parenting #parentingjourney #parentingskills #parentingfail #familyfirst #thefamilynarrative #lovemyfam #gratitudeattitude #gratitudepractice #gratitudechallenge #gratitudejournal #gratefulmindset #holisticcoach #holistictraining #mindsetshift #mindsetcoachforwomen #growthmindset #abundancemindset #abundantlife #healanxiety #innerhappiness #healingyourself #journalinglife #mentalhealthtips #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthblogger #selflovetips #selfcareissacred #wellbeingjourney #wellbeingblog

*Personal Post* On Friday, I went away on a solo

*Personal Post*

On Friday, I went away on a solo trip, mostly to meditate. I wanted to fill my soul’s cup before the weekend activities.

On Saturday, we attended a celebration for our Imam’s 86th birthday.

On Sunday, as I was reflecting on our first week here in Seattle, I experienced a deep sense of tenderness around my heart.

Zikr. Remembrance.

I silently moved the prayer beads one by one and realized…

My greatest sin is that I forget how loved I am by the Absolute.

My greatest folly has been to doubt Absolute’s grace and benevolence.

Whoa. How did I ever do that?!

A short while later, I called my parents and apologized for the times I doubted their love.

I thanked them for everything they did to allow for my faith to bloom in the way it has. Mom and I cried. Tears of joy & connectedness.

My faith and connection to the community is what led me to dream of a life in Seattle with Rehman. So grateful for such a warm welcome & integration. 💥

Feeling so deeply loved and supported 💕💫

A special thank you to our families for setting us free to co-create our best lives, even if it’s in a place far away from them. 🙏🏼

Khushyali Mubarak to all my Ismaili family & friends!

#ismaili #salgirahmubarak #faithcommunity #forgiveness #zikr #rememberwhoyouare #seekwithin #securelyattached #newlifebegins #engaged #attachmentstyles #consciouscommunity #consciousfriends #diversityandinclusion #onejamat #ismailism #loveafterdivorce #lifeafterdivorce #consciousrelationships #seattle #freedom #livingourbestlives #individuation #consciousparenting

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