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sabrina.attachment.specialist

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When I first got divorced, I read a lot about Karm

When I first got divorced, I read a lot about Karmic Relationships and here’s why…

My mind was trying to figure out what happened.

The signs seemed to all match up for what I observed and experienced.

But none of this helped me understand why it all happened, other than perhaps my “soul called it forward”.

I had major issues believing that my soul was “seeking divorce”.

I knew that simply writing it all off as a ‘karmic relationship’ wasn’t going to do it for me.

It felt disempowering to think that something outside of me and outside of my control led to the most traumatic event of my life.

And there was nothing I could do about it going forward except pray that it doesn’t happen again. 🤷🏻‍♀️

What sort of benevolent God would leave you with that ending??! Kind of silly, right?

If you know me well, I question everything even when my family and community would have preferred otherwise!

So I continued on, digging deeper into topics like narcissism + empath, highly sensitive people, patriarchy, victim mindset.

The combination of Attachment Science + Polyvagal Theory explains the what, how, and why of relationships, more comprehensively than anything else. The combination lends itself to clear understanding.

Once you clearly understand what happened and how it happened, then you can really do something about it.

This led me to construct a trauma-informed perspective of my childhood, the circumstances under which I agreed to get married when I did, and all of it leading to heartbreaking divorce. From this lens, it was all predictable!

I found myself saying: well of course I felt rejected and abandoned - it all makes sense now!

If you go through this post and it resonates with your relationship experiences, I encourage you to think more deeply and get curious about WHY and HOW this happens.

If you’re ready to really understand and change patterns, DM me for a consult call. I’ll tell you about Patterns to Presence, our 3-week personalized program that takes you from awareness to understanding and healing.

It’s the only program of its kind. Born from our hardships to serve you, if you’re seeking truth & responsibility in relationships.

When you’re triggers, you’re in survival mode.

When you’re triggers, you’re in survival mode.

You’re feeling attacked and you’re not thinking clearly.

Your judgement is clouded and you will feel the urge to fight, be defensive, prove someone right or wrong.

You need to bring yourself back to safety and that’s when you know you can think clearly again.

This is from the 3rd episode of @scenesfromamarria

This is from the 3rd episode of @scenesfromamarriagehbo

It accurately depicts how insecurities start as a core belief in childhood and cause us to hide parts of ourselves in intimate relationships later on.

Unresolved childhood trauma causes us to lose connection with the present moment so much so that we’re only half there with our partners.

Worth watching for sure.

Would love to know what you think below 👇🏼

Here are critical ways an insecure attachment limi

Here are critical ways an insecure attachment limits your life.

These things aren’t usually glaring out at you. You really have to look underneath the surface to see what’s going on.

You might go through these signs and say none of them apply to me.

That’s your conscious mind talking.

Your unconscious mind talks in behaviors, habits, decisions, triggers, and reactions.

That’s what I look at when I read your journal.

For example, after reading your journal, I might ask: “Why do you think you ended that relationship?”

“He didn’t want to prioritize me or our relationship.”

What this tells me is that some part of you felt rejected in the relationship and therefore, you ended it.

Then I might ask, “How did you decide to quit this job?”

“My manager didn’t value my contributions.”

Can you start to see a pattern?

Here’s what I see…

This client’s mind is creating assumptions about these situations and in an effort to avoid feeling unwanted/rejected, they just move on to the next job or relationship.

To end relationships prematurely based on what could be faulty assumptions about the other person is an extremely dangerous and limiting life pattern!

This person is missing out on real growth and transformation and they’re completely unaware of it, because their mind is so focused on avoiding feeling rejected.

Send me a DM if you’re interested in learning about your hidden patterns and are ready to shift them.

Are you just starting out with your inner work? Wi

Are you just starting out with your inner work? With establishing a self-care routine? Watch this to know how to begin that journey.

There are many reasons to establish a strong self-care routine.

One of the most overlooked reasons is that it signals to your subconscious mind (and your Inner Child) the notion of “I matter”.

This is a powerful antidote to so many of our childhood experiences where we didn’t feel we mattered or didn’t matter enough and so we tend to recreate that in our adult lives because it’s familiar.

So making yourself a priority isn’t selfish, it’s necessary if you want to heal from the intergenerational trauma that you’ve inherited.

Was this helpful to understand? Have other questions? Tell me in the captions 👇🏼