When our 49th Imam, Mawlana Shah Karim, passed on February 4, 2025, I remember wondering: how will I ever give anyone else his place in my mind and my life? And how long will it take to create the relationship I have with him? Where do I even start?
I cried for weeks. I felt the loss so deeply. So much of my life and my family’s life had been guided by Mawlana Shah Karim. He was the only Imam my parents and I had known.
My parents were born and raised in Karimabad, Karachi, Pakistan. Their housing, education, and healthcare was established and provided by Mawlana Shah Karim’s institutions.
My parents moved to the United States in 1979 and 1985, and stayed in Chicago because in 1986, he said: make this your home. I was less than 2 months old at the time.
Mawlana Shah Karim emphasized the importance of education and told the Jamat to send their children to the best schools possible. I was the first person in my immediate family to graduate with a bachelor’s degree in 2008.
In 2010, I was recruited by the Time and Knowledge Nazrana office to live and work in Afghanistan and Kenya, two places I may have never gone otherwise. When I zoom out, I see that Mawlana Shah Karim showered us with all that was needed and this isn’t just true for my life, but it’s also true for the lives of my parents and grandparents.
I still remember how my grandmother would tear up as she talked about Mawlana Shah Karim. She would softly reiterate this line from a ginan: Evaa evaa laadd laddaave.
I now understand this as unconditional parental love. It’s how Mawlana Shah Karim anticipated our needs and provided for them consistently over time, over generations, in so many ways that we’ve lost count and are often entirely unaware of. It’s how he assumed responsibility for our becoming.
As I reflect on how my family’s trajectory was guided by Mawlana Shah Karim, I’m reminded of his 80th birthday where he said: I have had nothing else of real significance in my life other than serving the Jamat.
How can someone love us so deeply and so consistently, in such a way that was deeply felt by my grandparents, my parents, and me, and that too, over 67 years?
In the days between Shah Karim’s passing on February 4, 2025 and Shah Rahim’s Takht-nishini on February 11, 2025, I remember thinking: Who or what can I rely on now?
And then it occurred to me that I will never form a connection with Mawlana Shah Rahim if I’m not even taking his name. So let me begin by reciting the Dua everyday and take his name.
I had fallen out of practice for saying Dua since I went to college. It’s something I wanted to add back into my life again, but had not found the inner commitment to do so.
I sat with the Dua papers, carefully saying Shah Rahim (instead of Shah Karim) at the end of every part, and adding Shah Karim to the list of our imams in the sixth part.
Within 6 months, this became a consistent daily practice. This ritual brought to light several valuable insights:
- Initially, I never wanted to live through another transition from one imam to the next because it felt too emotionally painful. I never thought that the passing of an Imam would lead to strengthening my faith, but paradoxically, it has.
- What I didn’t realize a year ago that I now know is that Malwana Shah Karim saved his finest gift to the Jamat (and the world) for last: Mawlana Shah Rahim.
- Adding Shah Karim Shah at the end of the long list of Imams made me wonder – is that it now? He just becomes a name added to the end of this long list? I cried at that thought at first, but after a few days, I realized that this is a long list of imams who also loved us (the Jamat) in each time period exactly like Shah Karim loved us. Instantly, this brought all of their names to life for me! Since then, I’ve been diving into our Ismaili history and learning about each of them.
- I say both evening Duas with my husband and this has become a shared ritual that strengthens our marriage on a daily basis. Shared rituals create a sense of ease in our bodies as we transition from work to homelife. It’s what we both come “home” to.
- If I hadn’t felt the loss so deeply, it’s possible that I wouldn’t have created a place for daily prayer in my life. Looking back, I see that what looked like a “loss” often becomes divine grace. So the question is: where else might this apply in my life? Can this understanding help me hold on less tightly and experience more ease in my body?
Imamat Day 2025 will always be extra special. From now on, on every Imamat Day, I’ll be celebrating the Imamat of Malwana Shah Rahim and all the imams that came before him, and even those that are yet to come. This day is as much about the present-moment as it is about a timeless tradition. Hai Zinda.